Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Outraged

So I'm trying to do my work but something one of my friends posted on facebook has me outraged as well. Did you know that there is actually a website that PROMOTES AFFAIRS!!!!!!! >:-O. Um I'm sorry but I think that relationships are hard enough without someone being encouraged to have an affair. This is wrong on so many different levels. I know what it feels like to be hurt in a dating relationship when someone is unfaithful. It took me over a year to recover from that and sometimes I still feel so hurt by that. It totally destroyed my image of myself for a long time. Anyway, Here is what my friend had to say about it:

"I am beyond infuriated right now!!

I am watching CNN - trying to check up on the terrorist attacks in Mumbai, India (and if you don't know what's going on .... turn on your tv or open your computer). Anyway, they show this commercial around 11:04 pm:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TV68DKZ3WA

I cannot even describe to you the rage I feel in my body at this moment. How disgusting and horrible is this?! And there's a company that exists to provide people with it?! Oh my word. I cannot believe they are airing this on television. Apparently they aired it on ESPN but it was pulled.

I am irate. How in the world?! WHY?! Why? Why?! I know the world's messed up, but wow .... this is over the top. "life is short. have an affair" - what a mockery of marriage and people and God and yourself?! I cannot believe this.

Why don't they show another commercial afterward - one about the family or wife or husband that's been destroyed. Yeah ... that's entertaining.

And why must they portray the wife the way they do?! What's that about?!!! What does that say about women!?!? What does it portray about men!? Oh my gosh ... this commercial is horrid on so many levels.

I am saddened beyond belief. "

AANYWAY Completely in disbelief that this would be allowed in our country! And we wonder why the divorce rate is so high. Maybe if people actually cared about one another things would be different :(

3 comments:

Holly said...

wow.

blink.

wow.

I don't know that I am outraged, but I am offended. Why bother getting married if you are going to be sleeping around? This makes no sense

*Sarah* said...

I'm not quite that angry about it, but, hmm... that's interesting.

I know of couples (not personally but my profs speak of them all the time because we study families) that do this kind of thing in the open and it is what works for them. I don't think fidelity is necessary for a happy marriage for some couples. For instance, a man is going through some kind of health issues, like chemotherapy. In order to get his wife's sexual needs met they have this open agreement that she can get those needs met by someone else. No emotion, no cuddling, etc. They often have their own little guidelines they make up individually too like some don't kiss on the lips. Most of the time in this kind of situation the person will get those needs met eventually on their own except it will boil up inside of them and then BAM a one night stand, guilt, lies, the whole works. Happens ALL the time in case studies in families. And if anyone is thinking, how can you have sex with someone and not feel emotion? Oh please. Sex is sex for pleasure and CAN include a "closeness" because you are totally vulnerable to that person, but it definitely does NOT have to be that way, trust ME haha. Even in a marriage or relationship most of the time it's for gratification rather than "love." Unless you come across a stupid woman who has sex with her husband only because he wants it and thinks that she is showing him love through that. Um, no. Sex is sex and we are human.

I tend to view these things from a psychological perspective so that's kind of how I went with it. I think that just having an affair for the thrill of it or just because you're tired of your husband or wife is a little messed up. I only say that because that indicates something is missing in your marriage/relationship (don't have to be married after all). If you are searching elsewhere for something like that it is missing in your relationship and you need to fix that. That is why I have a problem with it. I don't necessarily see it as immoral, but more so not focusing on the REAL problem, and occasionally depending on the situation, being selfish.

I have been cheated on, and it wasn't a big deal to me. I didn't take it too personally I guess, in that it didn't affect my self esteem. I just thought he was a horny boy haha. I partially don't blame people for wanting sex from other people. We're kind of made biologically to want to hump all around town as to pass on our genes. I find other men attractive in a sexual way every single day. HOWEVER, it is up to you to use that advanced brain of yours to hold yourself back. Do I start humping those guys? No. There is something we do in our heads too that has to do with this; the whole cost benefit and dedicated time thing. The thrill of having an affair is not worth destroying all the time and energy you put into another relationship already. I could go on for pages about that theory but anyway.

I can honestly say that if NOW Rob cheated on me, yes I would be hurt. If Mike had cheated on me before, I don't think I would have cared much. I even told him that once. I am much closer to Rob. I would be hurt BECAUSE I would feel like I wasn't fulfilling my role in some way; be it sexual or emotional or something else that he was trying to fill the void of. I don't think I'd feel it personally in that he didn't love me, but rather that he needed something he wasn't getting at home. Sex does not equal love for me. Just because he humps someone else doesn't mean he doesn't love me anymore. I think women get WAY too caught up in their emotions sometimes. Maybe that is why I don't really get along with girls in general haha. I have more a man brain.

I do think it's messed up to put the ad on TV because it gives the idea that affairs for fun, like I mentioned I'm against, are okay. Things like open affairs should be an idea you get from each other or from your family or marriage therapist. I also feel that way with medication being advertised on TV. No, you need to learn those things from your doctor AFTER you come in for the PROBLEM you already feel and don't make up in your head after seeing the ad! Anyway!

One thing also is that the ad itself is MESSED UP. In that the woman is fat and ugly and the man is handsome. It's the man going out for the affair and leaving his fat wife behind. That is not cool. I'm a very sexual person and I'm pretty sure I'd be out and having an affair long before most of the guys I know. Plus it's degrading to women and all of that stuff that is obvious.

Hm this is long hahaha.

But this is the stuff I LOVE. Psych and human behavior!!!! I love seeing ads and things and wondering why we do this as humans. Sociobiology and stuff! Love it!

*Sarah* said...

And also on their site they have some videos but there are some on YouTube too. I like to see the individual stories and do a mini case study in my head! It's interesting to see how the brain works while still trying to conform to society. Mmm.

http://www.ashleymadison.com/app/public/media/index.p

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